


Surviving

by inkinmyheartandonthepage



Series: Irondad and Spiderson [39]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, M/M, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Scared Peter Parker, Stephen Strange is a good doctor, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 01:31:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18906775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkinmyheartandonthepage/pseuds/inkinmyheartandonthepage
Summary: Peter Parker wished the nightmares would just stop.





	Surviving

**Author's Note:**

> Twice in one day!!! What is happening! 
> 
> THIS CHAPTER WILL CONTAIN ENDGAME SPOILERS!!!!!! 
> 
> If you haven't seen Endgame yet I suggest you head to your nearest theater, see the movie, then come back in read this. It has a pretty major spoiler in it so please don't read if you haven't seen it yet. 
> 
> This prompt is from DolphinsTurtles from fanfiction: What if Peter had to take pills, maybe he's sick or maybe they're to help with his panic attacks and trauma because of 'That day' And he didn't tell anybody the pain he was going through. And he overdosed his pills on accident. Tony would freak the fluff out, obviously, and maybe the other Advengers would get involved to?
> 
> I hope you enjoy what I did with this chapter and thanks for prompting. 
> 
> My apologies for any mistakes and I hope that you all enjoy!

* * *

_“I am Iron Man.”_

_The snap of the gauntlet was deafening, the lightning striking up Tony’s arm, his neck, his face. The strain and the pain were visible on Tony’s determined face but he didn’t break. Peter rushed to his side as the hoard of aliens started fading to dust._

_“Dad? Dad you did it. You’re going to be okay,” Peter choked out, tears obscuring the last moments he was to have with his father. “Dad? You were amazing. I love you.”_

_Pepper’s gentle hands guided him back and he stumbled backwards, letting her in so she could see her husband._

_“It’s okay, sweetheart. You can rest now,” Pepper said gently._

_Tony’s head rest gently to one side, the light in his reactor going out for the last time._

Peter gasped, flinging himself upwards in his bed. He pressed a hand to his mouth as he sobbed, tears streaming down his face. He felt sick as he tried to draw in an even breath but he couldn’t stop the tears that were streaming down his face.

 

It had been real. It was a reality, it had been. One of 14 million realities that could have happened and almost did.

 

“Peter?” FRIDAY asked, her voice quiet in the dark room. “Would you like me to alert Tony that you are upset?”

 

“NO!” Peter sobbed out. “No. No, don’t. Don’t do that.” Peter sniffed loudly and hiccupped as he tried to stop the tears and sobs. “No, I’m okay. I’m just going to go for a walk, shake it off.”

 

Peter flung himself out of bed, wiping his face roughly. He quickly changed from his pyjamas into jeans and a hoodie and was leaving the compound walls before FRIDAY could tell Tony and alert him to his absence.

 

He ran down the driveway, sprinting as fast as he could as if he could run faster than his thoughts. They remained though, Tony’s ashen face burned into his mind. He sobbed as he ran, shooting his arm out in front of him, letting a web fly out and hook onto the nearest tree.

 

He hadn’t told Tony of his time in the soul stone. Tony had asked of course, though only twice. The first time had been just after ‘That Day’ when the world had just started to settle. Tony had finished filling Peter in on everything that had happened and how they had managed to get them all back.

 

“Do you want to talk about anything? About,” Tony cleared his throat roughly. “About, you know, dying?”

 

“No,” Peter shut him off rather abruptly that Tony shut his mouth with a snap and nodded once.

 

The second time had been after his nightmare and Tony had flown back from a meeting just to be with him and calm him down. Pepper had cooked them breakfast the next morning, her light fingers smoothing his hair as she had placed a plate down in front of it.

 

“You said you remembered,” Tony said quietly. “Do you want to talk about it now?”

 

Peter had shoved food his in mouth and shook his head and didn’t speak again until Pepper had changed the subject.

 

Peter couldn’t talk about it with Tony. He couldn’t talk about it with anyone but especially Tony. Peter couldn’t bear for Tony to know the truth as he knew that the man would carry it around with until the day he really did die. Peter couldn’t do that Tony. Not when the man was finally getting his life together and living it well.

 

There were only a few select that knew the truth. Majority had been lucky, simply fading to ash in a moment of confusion, like falling into a deep sleep. Then they woke up, confused for a moment, forgetting where they were until they shook it off and continued on.

 

There was only one other he could speak too.

 

* * *

 

 

As the sun begun to peak above the horizon, Peter climbed the steps of the sanctum. New York was already a buzz of activity but Peter ignored it as he opened the door. It was unlocked, though Peter suspected that most people ignored the building’s significance that it didn't warrant locking. 

 

The sanctum was quiet when he entered and Peter took a good look around. The first time he had been there he hadn’t had the chance to take in what was in the room. This time he took his time exploring. He let his interest and awe take over as he found a gallery, taking in all the old relics. There were some things he had never seen before that had him pressing his nose up against the glass.

 

“I told Wong this place has spiders.”

 

Peter whipped around at the drawling voice and blushed.

 

“Hey Doctor Strange,” Peter gave a small wave. “I- uh, I let myself in. I didn’t want to wake anyone up since it’s early.”

 

“I thought all teenagers slept in until eleven,” Strange said as he crossed the room to Peter. He raised a brow though as he took in Peter’s red eyes and puffy cheeks. “Though it seems you haven’t slept at all.”

 

Peter shuffled guilty. “Yeah, I couldn’t sleep.”

 

“Would you like some coffee?” Strange asked. “I was just going to make myself a cup.”

 

“Sure,” Peter shrugged again.

 

They walked through the sanctum in silence. When they entered the kitchen, Peter took a seat at the table while Strange moved about to make coffee. This was all done in silence and it wasn’t until Strange sat at the table and handed Peter a mug did he speak.

 

“So what brings you to my door, Peter?” Strange took a sip off his coffee.

 

Peter looked at his mug, wrapping his hands around it tightly as he stared at the black liquid inside.

 

Strange simply waited.

 

“You saw 14 million possibilities,” Peter said quietly.

 

“I did,” Strange nodded. “And our success.”

 

“How do you do it?” Peter asked. “How do you go through each day knowing what you saw?” Peter finally looked up, new tears rimming his eyes.

 

“They were but possibilities,” Strange said slowly. “Many of which could have come to past but did not. I choose to only see the one that mattered. The one we are in now.”

 

“They were so real,” Peter whispered.

 

“The soul stone,” Strange said. “You saw these possibilities?”

 

“Yes,” Peter sniffed. “He died. In so many of them he died.”

 

“Yes,” Strange said heavily. “He did and so did many others. They are alive now though and you need to remember that. I wasn’t aware that you lived through them too.”

 

Peter blinked wetly. “You lived them too?”

 

“Before our fight with Thanos,” Strange said. “When I lived through all 14 million possibilities. It is a heavy burden for someone so young. I take it you don’t talk to Tony about this.”

 

Peter shook his head. “No, I can’t. He would just feel guilty and I don’t want him too.”

 

“It doesn’t do well to keep these things bottled inside you,” Strange said. He waved his hand and Peter watched as a bottle eventually came soaring through the air. “I understand your hesitation though in discussing this with Tony. You may, however, come speak to me any time. I am perhaps one of the very few who understand exactly what you have been through.”

 

“Thank you,” Peter sniffed, giving a watery smile.

 

Strange handed over a bottle. “Take some of these. I’m suggesting more than the normal amount due to your metabolism. You need a good sleep.”

 

Peter held out his hand and watched as several pills fell into his palm. In one gulp he took them all. “Thanks.”

 

“It should give you a dreamless sleep,” Strange said. “When you wake, we can have a talk about what our next steps should be.”

 

“Steps?” Peter asked.

 

“You need to unload this burden from yourself before you get sick,” Strange said. “You need to come back to reality and live in the now, not what could have been. I’m not a therapist but I want to help you.”

 

“Really?” Peter perked up a little.

 

“I’ve grown…fond of you. For a spider, you’re alright,” Strange gave him a little smile.

 

“Thank you, Doctor Strange,” Peter said and he yawned loudly.

 

“Let’s get you to a bed,” Strange said.

 

* * *

 

 

“Where the hell could he have gone?” Tony growled. “He didn’t even take his suit!”

 

“FRIDAY said he went for a walk,” Pepper tried too sooth Tony but her own worry was showing.

 

“At two in the morning,” Tony exploded. “It’s after nine! He’s been gone for hours. What if something has happened? I need to go look for him.”

 

“Try his phone again,” Pepper said.

 

“He’s not answering,” Tony growled.

 

Both paused as sparks erupted from nowhere, growing larger and larger until a full circle, big enough for two people to fit through, filled the living room.

 

Looking at one another, Tony and Pepper stepped through the open portal into the dark rooms of the sanctum.

 

“Wizard?” Tony called out.

 

“It’s Doctor Strange,” he said, holding two cups. He handed one to Pepper first and then to Tony. “Take a seat.”

 

“You can just call,” Tony grumbled, taking a seat. “Is this important. Peter’s missing and-“

 

“Peter is here,” Strange interrupted. “He arrived early this morning.”

 

“Peter came here?” Pepper asked. “Is he okay?”

 

“He will be,” Strange said.

 

“What does that mean?” Tony frowned.

 

“There are some things, Tony, that Peter cannot tell you,” Strange said.

 

Tony jaw clenched.

 

“Do not take offence,” Strange said. “Thanos hurt us all. Some so more than others.”

 

“Peter’s still having nightmares,” Pepper said, her face grim.

 

“The soul stone,” Tony sighed. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”

 

Strange nodded. “He went through more than any of us. Is still going through more than any of us. He’s having trouble…defining the two places. I am going to help him as much as I can.”

 

“What happened in there?” Tony asked, his voice heavy with exhaustion. “He looks at me sometimes…like he can’t believe I’m really there. He’s always been touchy feely but sometimes his grip is so tight. Like he’s reminding himself of something.”

 

Strange was quiet for a moment, regarding the two carefully. “14 Million possibilities and only one of them we won.”

 

“Yes,” Tony drew out the word. “So?”

 

“I was not the only one who lived through those other possibilities,” Strange said.

 

Pepper gasped as the words sunk in. Her hand trembled as she put it over her mouth, sharing a horrified look with Tony.

 

“No,” Tony paled. “The soul stone. You mean Peter saw them?”

 

“He lived them, just as I did,” Strange said. “Peter went through more than anyone and still is. With his heightened abilities, his regeneration, his time in the soul stone was not like the others. He will need time.”

 

“Jesus, kid,” Tony sighed, running a hand over his face. “Why did he keep this to himself?”

 

“Burdening you with this Tony would not be helpful,” Strange said. “Your own health is a stake here. I will help him through it as much as I can.”

 

“He’s my kid,” Tony growled. “It’s my duty to help him.”

 

“And burying yourself in guilt will not help,” Strange snapped. He took a deep breath. “Peter needs you, in the now and not what could have been. It is better off if you don’t know.”

 

“What can we do to help?” Pepper asked.

 

“Be yourself. Be the family that you are and he will get there,” Strange said. “If you see him drifting, bring him back in to the now.”

 

“I want to see him,” Tony demanded.

 

Strange stood and led the two through the sanctum until they reached a bedroom. Peter was laid out on the bed, drool slipping between his lips.

 

“What did you do to him?” Tony gasped.

 

“He needed sleep,” Strange said. “Though, I may have over done it with the pills. His metabolism is fascinating.”

 

“Don’t overdose my kid,” Tony growled.

 

“He means thank you,” Pepper said. “For taking care of Peter and being there for him when we can’t.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Strange said. “Let me know when you are all ready to go home. I will take you.”

 

“Thanks Wizard,” Tony said, his lips twitching in an almost smile.

 

Strange closed the door as he left, leaving the family alone.

 

Pepper joined Tony on the bed and gently stroked Peter’s hair. “He’s a strong boy. We’ll get though this.”

 

“I wish there was more I could do,” Tony sighed. “I feel like I’ve let him down and brought him into something he wasn’t ready for.”

 

“Tony, please don’t do this,” Pepper sighed. “This is exactly what Strange was talking about. I love you both and I can’t loose the two of you to Thanos. Not again.”

 

Tony pressed his lips to Pepper’s temple and drew her close. “You’re not going to loose either of us. Not again. My promise to you.”

 

“You had better keep it,” Pepper sighed. “I mean it this time.”

 

“So do I,” Tony kissed her hair again.

 

“Good,” Pepper said. “Peter is going to have the best damn life he’s ever lived and so are you.”

 

“Whatever you say, dear,” Tony smiled.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy reading :)


End file.
